I have decided to start journaling prayers. I'm no good at internal conversations...too distracted, too restless, too prone to wander off to the next sparkling thing that catches my eye. Putting pen to paper forces me to sit, to think, to stop, to still, to quiet.
I procrastinated again today - distracted by hammock and new books and thunder showers, but finally I sat down still and began writing a prayer...more of a confession, if you will. It was neither eloquent nor very religious, but it was real. It was honest me, nakedly aware of who I am when I truly enter the Holy of Holies.
In the midst of my prayer I was "distracted" and entirely entranced when this flew into view
I was utterly captivated. Spellbound. Barely the length of my index finger he flew about and then he did something I have never before seen a hummingbird do. He landed. Right. on the branch. in. front. of. me. I was captivated. I couldn't look away, I couldn't breath. I wanted him to sit there all day so that I could just admire his absolutely amazing minuscule beauty.
But of course he did fly away.
And then God told me something. I am the hummingbird, and He made me. He is absolutely transfixed with the adoration of me. He sits and waits and has waited as eternity unfolds while I travel about, constantly busy, flapping my wings at speeds beyond sight, barely glimpsing me as I fly by. Usually I'm so fast that if he wasn't omniscient He wouldn't even know where I was.
What He wants me to do is land. Rest. Stop. Not because I have anything to give or offer or do for Him. But because He thinks I am the most exquisite creature in all the universe.
I am His
and wonder of wonders, He is mine.
I can't wait to be still again tomorrow.