5.14.2011

Still

Am I not always posting about stillness? It seems I am, but I never fully put anything I say, or think, or read about into practice when it comes to contemplation.

I have decided to start journaling prayers. I'm no good at internal conversations...too distracted, too restless, too prone to wander off to the next sparkling thing that catches my eye. Putting pen to paper forces me to sit, to think, to stop, to still, to quiet.

I procrastinated again today - distracted by hammock and new books and thunder showers, but finally I sat down still and began writing a prayer...more of a confession, if you will. It was neither eloquent nor very religious, but it was real. It was honest me, nakedly aware of who I am when I truly enter the Holy of Holies.

In the midst of my prayer I was "distracted" and entirely entranced when this flew into view

I was utterly captivated. Spellbound. Barely the length of my index finger he flew about and then he did something I have never before seen a hummingbird do. He landed. Right. on the branch. in. front. of. me. I was captivated. I couldn't look away, I couldn't breath. I wanted him to sit there all day so that I could just admire his absolutely amazing minuscule beauty.

But of course he did fly away.

And then God told me something. I am the hummingbird, and He made me. He is absolutely transfixed with the adoration of me. He sits and waits and has waited as eternity unfolds while I travel about, constantly busy, flapping my wings at speeds beyond sight, barely glimpsing me as I fly by. Usually I'm so fast that if he wasn't omniscient He wouldn't even know where I was. 

What He wants me to do is land. Rest. Stop. Not because I have anything to give or offer or do for Him. But because He thinks I am the most exquisite creature in all the universe. 

I am His
and wonder of wonders, He is mine.

I can't wait to be still again tomorrow.

9 comments:

Pattie said...

What an amazing gift!!!

Holly said...

How wonderful it is that we can be real and honest with Him.

Love it when He shows us things through things as "simple" as a bird!

Maria said...

wow!! I love it my dear!! You are one of God's amazing gifts to me.

Jane said...

Absolutely wonderful!
I love it when He speaks to me like that. And speaks to me through this!
Love,
Jane

Renee Fitts said...

Beautiful <3

Kristin said...

Absolutly amazing!!! Thank you for sharing for I believe that so much for myself : )

Lorri said...

This gave me goosebumps. I love the connection here! (PS. You'd love my mom's kitchen windows ~ they have a tribe of hummingbirds that will come feed right at the window, and are so beautiful to watch.)

Madame Rubies said...

A good reminder for me. We have the least busy summer planned, and I am going to enjoy some stillness.

Katie said...

Oh what a beautiful gift! And I needed this same reminder, thank you!