It is hard to get back into the routine of blogging once you are out even for just a few days. Funny that each week I think to myself that things will slow down a touch and I can get some sort or routine going, and that is just not happening. It's not even close to happening. Starting school made it even more challenging to get what should be routine things completed. So many times I tell other people that changing too many things at once will kill any momentum you home to gain, and here I am caught up in the same thing. Only, I'm not sure that I can stop the momentum we are gaining, and to be honest, I don't think that in good conscience I will allow it. So, I will continue to learn to be flexible and disciplined, to re-prioritize on a dime and to weigh the differences between busyness and relationship building. So much to learn, so urgent to learn it.
Sometimes I wonder if ministry will ever be less hard or less exciting. Then I stop an consider that the hope is that all the while my heart of stone are turning into the heart of Christ. And if that is truly happening then the things that break God's heart will be the things that break my heart. And surely, human heart ache doesn't even hold a candle to the heart brokenness off the Almighty Creator of the the universe. So if all of what I have surmised before is true, then if my heart truly is becoming more Christ like, I can expect each crack and crevice to be more painful than any that preceded it. Instead of becoming easier, ministry becomes more and more an effort of love and pain. If that's not dying to live, I don't know what is. Now if only I could actually convince God this is some sort of mistake, as I have been trying to do for almost a decade ( I kid, I kid, sort of)
This month may be the first time that I lamented the power bill and Hunky was calm with it. In perspective it really is low for summer, and yet I look at all that "convenience" money and shudder. We've only had to water one time so far this month, so I am hoping all our water conservation measures will show up on our next water bill (and that there will be some rain tomorrow to offset that absolutely scorching heat they are calling for). Still working to strike that balance between believing we are being good stewards (such a churchy word, eh?) and not having guilt over being born into a country and culture which I honestly wouldn't change to live in another, but which sure seems shallow in the face of many others. See what happens when you let yourself think?
It's almost 10pm and still almost 90* - mercy that's warm!
It's time time time to stop allowing busyness to distract me from healthy habits. Yes, I did just say that after talking about scorching heat. Today was a far healthier eating day than the weekend of debauchery eating brought on by the wedding. Must. add. exercise. back. in. I plan to be at my goal weight (whatever that is -- since I refuse to get on a scale. I'll know by pants size) by my 39th birthday. I know I'm more than half way there from last year, so things look promising if I can throw myself out of the "you've worked hard enough" illusion. I hear kettle bells...
School, school, school, this term we are studying 20th century American History, weather, the Middle Ages, Norse Mythology, Shakespeare and of course the basic writing, math, grammar and spelling skills we always cover. Bible is focusing on being mission minded (reading Radical, Do Hard Things and other books like this together) and various books (currently James). It has taken longer to organize and pull together resources this time. I think that's because the girls were given a pretty big voice in what we study. It required a fast revamp (which takes me back to the first paragraph of being flexible and disciplined all at once.), but with the exception of math (which may still be the death of me) it seems to be flowing pretty well now. If we can get all the cars working we may be able to find a schedule and hold it. I won't hold my breath.
Now I must take the poor dog out into the warm evening. I love the nocturnal song that accompanies our walk on warm summer nights. If we're lucky we'll see my armadillo friend (and he won't wait for us INSIDE the atrium) and also my deer stalker. We're practically on a first name basis now.
That's all folks!