9.28.2011

One of those posts

   This is one of those nights where I wish I had written earlier, when the thoughts were more crisp, and there were still daylight hours to burn, before my brain was filled again without the gift of sleep to smooth out the wrinkles.  But I didn't write then and here we are at the end of this night, and I can't make my spiritual ache align with my life's work. I question my motives, my actions, my words, my boundaries, my purpose, my plan and my perceptions.  Perhaps questioning isn't the most specific word, perhaps honing is a better one. It involves questioning, circling 'round and 'round a thing as water swirls round a drain until finally you are sucked into the very heart of it and drawn in. That's what I am seeking...the drawing in.

Too many messages overlap and weave together today to be ignored but I haven't sat back enough yet to see the full pattern in the weaving.  I don't want to focus so hard on the trees that I miss the forest. I don't want to be fooled by the good and miss the best.  I don't want anything but the most direct path to wherever it is that I am going next.

This weekend brings with it a change in the weather.  Perhaps it hearkens to a change in myself as well.

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