10.24.2011

Simply Living: day 24: Simply Choices

The last two days have been strangely off kilter.  Circumstances, emotions, events all of them seem to have joined together into a little conspiracy designed to throw me off my game plan and into a complete tailspin. I've been frustrated more than once, shocked, saddened and even flipped off.  Today I am pretty sure every portion of our school plans and curriculum and even technology plotted against me.  I even made really, really horrible biscuits with dinner.  We threw them out; good thing the soup tasted amazing.

All through out the last two days I kept repeating to myself something that I have been living and learning these past few months: "I have a choice how I respond to this situation."

I think this has been one of the most wonderful revelations in myself this past year. I know it's not a profound discovery, in fact, I'm probably coming to it later in life than most. But the fact remains. I have a choice how I respond. I am not a slave to whatever knee jerk emotion comes racing to the surface. I get to choose whether that's the way I want to feel, the words I want to say, the way I want the rest of the day to flow.

Today I did choose...school happened, and we were none the worse for the things that didn't work, print, or appear that will just be handled tomorrow.  I invited a friend over to dinner, and we laughed and lamented the horrible biscuits and ate grapes with our soup instead. We now have a secret code for when we really want to cause each other emotional trauma. We just threaten to make biscuits.  I chose to enjoy the gorgeous afternoon sun. The trees on the island are putting on their fall finery and reflecting in a million beautiful colors off the water.  I chose the small victory of cleaning out my desk drawers, listening to some of my favorite music followed by a nap when I knew that big projects and my energy level weren't compatible today. I chose grace for myself and grace for my children. I chose yes instead of no.  I chose to find the joy instead of being stuck in irritation.  I chose to allow Fruit to well out of my heart instead of bitterness.

(to be fair I also chose to haul off and kick the dog that attacked and bit my dog, who was leashed and on the street, on our walk, BUT I did NOT choose to return the bird his nasty owner sent us when she screamed by us in her car later )

I. get. to. choose.

Everyday I am surrounded by people and events over which I haven't one iota of control. The only control I have is over my own choices. I don't want to waste my time choosing the cynical or the ugly. I don't want my attitude to be one of self-pity or defeat.  I don't want to miss the beauty because I couldn't lift my eyes up past my own selfishness.

I get to choose.
We all get to choose.
What choices are you making?

( I enjoyed this post at Ragamuffin Soul today: Your Cynicism is fixing Nothing. Seems he's doing some choosing himself)

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