Seventeen years ago today, at 4pm in the afternoon, I married my best friend.
Each time I celebrate an important day with him, I try to encapsulate in words how much I love him, how important and inspiring he is to me, how amazing I think he is.
I always fall short.
I don't know that there are words to convey what it means to have someone be entwined with the fibers of your heart and the pathways of your soul.
There are pictures in my mind that go with our life stories. Some I have shared here. Some I have not, but I may one day. Some I will always simply carry safely tucked under my skin.
Sometimes I wake at night and just reach out to lay my hand on him while he sleeps. I'm not worried he won't be there. I just miss touching him.
Sometimes we have entire conversations with only our eyes and expressions.
Sometimes I have to email or text or call because I have something to share and no one else in the entire universe will "get it" they way I "get it" except him.
Sometimes people tell me something about him or how much they love or appreciate him and then they say, "...but I bet you get tired of hearing that." No. I never do. In fact, those are my favorite conversations.
Sometimes he just has to say one word and I completely lose it laughing because behind that word is nearly twenty years of shared humor, layer upon layer of all the ways and reasons he makes me smile and laugh.
Sometimes it's very very hard because the world beats us up, and every person we've interacted with have taken from us and we forget. We forget to treasure each other like the precious gift to each other we are.
Sometimes I let him down, I use words that cut and hurt, I let selfishness win. When this happens, I am miserable.
Sometimes I stop and reflect that half a lifetime isn't nearly enough time to spend with one person, and that no matter how much time I have, I will always want more.
Sometimes I realize that I am living a great love story.
Always, I am grateful for the joy of my life and the life we spend together.
Happy anniversary, my Hunky.