1.10.2012

Birth Pains

mustache on a sidewalk
Can I be honest? God is messing up my junk lately. No seriously, messing it up. I'm uncomfortable every. where. I. go. Sometimes I am uncomfortable with who I am and how I react. Sometimes I am uncomfortable with the situation. Sometimes, I'm uncomfortable because my precious routine and space have been imposed on (do not think I say that with any level of pride whatsoever). Then there are the times that I am uncomfortable and I'm not even sure why.  I feel out of place like a mustache on a sidewalk (who knew I would have a blog to write when I took that awesome picture yesterday. That's my toe peeping in on the action).

I'm reading a book that's really messing with me as well, though I am not quite ready to go into the specifics of what my response to that will be. I am waiting, waiting, waiting for God to show me what is next. For him to reveal what the next steps will be. I have some ideas, and they probably aren't going to help at all with my issues of feeling uncomfortable because my lifestyle is oriented differently from what is the cultural norm.

My husband read this today: "Pain is often your passport to your next season" (tweeted by Jim Raley) and shared it with me, and I thought, "Yes! Yes this is the reason for my discomfort. They are growing pains." Seasons change, and I change and life grows within and bursts out, but there is no birth giving without pain.

Yahweh, you have my attention.  Do with me as you will.

3 comments:

Lorri said...

Oh, how I relate to this!

Harry Wheeler said...

thanks for being a faithful servant and speaking your heart. it is so encouraging to know that I am not the only one who feels uncomfortable sometimes. I never thought of it as growing pains but I have a feeling that you are hitting the nail on the head. I hope that you enjoy your vacation. be sure to give your husband a hug for me. he is truly a great man of God.

Dana Portwood said...

Lorri! I know you do! Yours is a long labor...

Thank you, Harry! I will hug him for sure!