1.24.2012

The Great Disconnect

Apparently if I am not online regularly, I don't know what to write about. Or perhaps it's that the last, almost seventy-two hours now have been a blur of activity.  One good thing is that at least I don't feel defeated by wasted time at the end of the day. Whatever isn't finished isn't finished because there really wasn't enough time to get it done. I am not beating myself up anymore.

I am, however, still quite distracted enough to go to a meeting at church and leave eggs boiling on the stove..with my unattended and unaware children....who are now in danger of eggs-grenades shooting off in our kitchen.

I can't make this stuff up folks.

In the meantime my children also conspired to give us $80 towards our upcoming mission trip...of their own money.  With not the slightest bit of hint or urging from either one of us.

Some days you thank God above from the depths of your heart that maybe just maybe you might doing one thing a little bit right.  And I do know that the only reason that's at all possible is that He shellacs my life in so much grace it looks good.

I'm just a plain mess underneath all that.

There are moments that I intensely miss that numbing familiarity of just sliding into the online community.  Fortunately my many wonderful friends are supplying me with lovely little text lifelines (And I don't like my phone anywhere NEAR enough for that to become an addiction. It is also not a smart phone so I am not cheating with it).  It's not the community that I miss the most (sad, but true, though I do definitely miss the people I commune with) but the ability to disconnect and disengage.

I don't really think that's a very pretty truth about myself.

I have almost finished one entire beanie hat for my oldest and the youngers are clamoring behind for me to make one for them. I don't know how long I've been planning to do that, but there was "never enough time." Or I was too unengaged to do something I actually enjoy to create something for people I claim to be willing to sacrifice anything for.  Actions > words.  Hard math indeed.

I told you I was a mess, yes?

I'm going to go ahead and mention this here because my offline time is going to carry me well into mission trip money raising time.  I am going to be doing another $5 drive to raise the $700 needed for my trip (now $660 thanks to my truly amazing children. I have mentioned they are so phenomenal I can't find words to adequately explain how that gesture squeezed my heart.)  To date, there has never been a year that $5 at a time hasn't more than paid for my trip and then spilled over to bless other missionaries on our team.  If you read and enjoy, and have a heart for the lost, or understand why I want to pack my bags with small native American children and bring them home, or are unable to comprehend a nation that doesn't have a word for hope, I would be blessed if you helped. Please, do not feel one bit of obligation. Let the Holy Spirit prompt it; I won't guilt it. Details will follow in another blog soon ( and I have paypal...give me a woot-woot!)  I'm challenging my minimalist self to put my money where my mouth is and pack in one carry on sized bag.  You'll be hearing more about that as well.

I have dinner to finish. I spent my time not-online time making most of it ahead. There are some definite perks to relearning living.

17 comments:

Leann Richardson said...

I found so much of this to be so amazingly true when we had the imposed month offline in October last year. I have longed for it since then. I am envious... but I am turning mine off soon, too. Let me get through the all-state trip and then I will join you! LOL I sent you a txt with address as you asked... I am so excited for your trip. Love you my soul sis!!! :)

Kristen_Brooks said...

Watch out for those eggs!!

lakecrestgirl said...

Your heart makes me smile.
I've never unplugged from online. I DID however have to stop playing facebook games a year or so ago. It was an unproductive time drain. I mean really, did I need to be the mafia king, the farm queen, find all the treasures on the island all while running a cafe? I pulled the plug and I'm better for having done it. (not that you should never go back online).

Maria Summers said...

as always you will get at least $5 from us. We will see what exactly takes place.

Pattie said...

Glad to hear you're having a good productive time off :)
I am with lakecrest girl in that I did disconnect from games and some other things that took too much time away from the stuff I needed to spend time on.
Guess what I am not really missing on day 2 of the mini-fast? Fiction reading. Weird. WEIRD I say!

Pattie said...

(Time off LINE. Dude. And I want to be a professional proofreader?!?!?!)

heidi hennings said...

Count me in on some $$ for your trip!

contessa20 said...

No Paypal. I need your mailing address, dearie!

Dana Portwood said...

I love you too! I was painting when you sent the text and the rest of the day went by in a blur! But i DID get the text! I will be sending a letter soon (hopefully tomorrow)

Dana Portwood said...

I saved them to throw at you. :D

Dana Portwood said...

I don't think I can reasonably stay offline forever. BUT if i can reset my priorities and my reasons for being online I will be happy!

Dana Portwood said...

As always Maria, I thank you so much!

Dana Portwood said...

When I was off fiction for six months last year I didn't really miss it either and I have not gone back to the amount I used to be reading.

Dana Portwood said...

Thank you, Heidi!!! Great to hear from you!

Dana Portwood said...

119 Island View Dr
Milledgeville, Ga. 31061

THANK YOU!!!!

Sara said...

This... this was so... perfectly expressed: "Some days you thank God above from the depths of your heart that maybe just maybe you might doing one thing a little bit right. And I do know that the only reason that's at all possible is that He shellacs my life in so much grace it looks good. I'm just a plain mess underneath all that." Shellacked in grace. Yep. Sounds about right.

Love you. Do not fork.
**waits expectantly for PayPal address**

heidi hennings said...

Didn't mean to be MIA. This is the first time I've been able to post on a blog in a very long time. Not sure why, but glad it finally is working. I enjoy reading your beautiful posts.