2.07.2012

Return

It's so easy to step away sometimes isn't it?
It isn't something you plan or wish for, but sometimes things just drift...right...out of grasp.
Once they are out there, further away, you ask yourself, "Do I want to make the effort to have this thing back?"
Or maybe you see it, and the thought sparks, but before it even has time to flower into the question, you turn the other way and just let the drift keep happening.

I've been in both places.
I've let things go that maybe I was meant to try a little harder to hang on to.
I've held on too long to things that I was meant to let go.

Sometimes I even get it just right, and I grab the thing that I was never meant to let drift away. I tuck it in tight and secure, and once again it receives the attention and time that it is meant to have.

I think that maybe this week that words and publicity were allowed to drift was a time to grab other things, things that maybe had drifted a bit too far, things that weren't meant to be released.  But now it's time to grab this thing that also isn't meant to be released. Not now, anyway.

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I had a bit of a disappointment this week.  I asked for something that felt right, seemed right.
Something that burgeoned with possibility, piqued my excitement.

Instead a door was closed.

I'm honestly surprised at the depth of my disappointment, not unhappy, just a bit deflated.

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My girls have all suffered a bit from a head cold that is going around. They certainly have fared better than most people we know with the same malady.  It's been a week now, and I seem to have somehow escaped from it. I am very, very grateful.

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The weather here is delightfully fickle.  Several days last week I was allowed to take up my lizard persona and just let the sun warm my bones. I know I'll bemoan the heat when it comes, but in my heart, I truly am a summer girl.
Butter cups are already blooming and a fine yellow powder is sifting down from the pines.  Spring is springing whether or not  the calendar is making time for it.
I'm ready, ready, ready - though I fully expect that winter will make itself known at least one more time.
I also know that no matter how many times I go stick my feet in the water "just to see if it's any warmer," we are not going to be doing any swimming in February.
Too bad.

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Life is flying at super speed since returning from Florida. Sometimes I thrive in that, and sometimes it feels heavy, and I fight the weight of it like quicksand.

Lately it's been the quicksand.

But the sun reminds me that spring is coming.
Rebirth
Renewal

God's Promise.



11 comments:

Lorri said...

Glad to see you back. :)

Cheri said...

I love you, friend.

Dana Portwood said...

LOOOORRRRRRIIIII!!! Text me your email address that is associated with your amazon and I will send you Interrupted!

Dana Portwood said...

I love you too!!!
You need to come here and make me guacamole. Not because I cant make it myself but because you are too far away

Pattie said...

I miss you...I know why you're away...but it doesn't make it easy when the main medium through which I know you is unused :(

Kristen_Brooks said...

I like Cheri. Even if I don't like guacamole. Although its like having two Danas around...

Skipper said...

*tears* Don't let me slip away. I don't want to be the thing you don't want to hold on to anymore. *tears*

Dana Portwood said...

It's a good time away...but I do love that you keep me in the loop with all the texts!!!

Dana Portwood said...

we are basically the same person--- and I thought YOU were offline???

Dana Portwood said...

Never.

Kristen_Brooks said...

I was. But I can't stand being that disconnected from the world. It's just too hard with no one at home to talk to. Call me a failure, but that's how it is. I am staying off more though.