Right as we were leaving for Arizona, the power-ball lottery grew to some unfathomable amount and someone won (or maybe someones - I don't remember the details.) It was big news on the bus on the way to the airport.
I didn't play the power-ball, though I've played lottery a time or two in the past. This isn't a blog about "the evils of lottery" since I don't actually need the lottery to give me an excuse to throw my money away. I do that quite well every single day without even encroaching into the areas of spiritually nebulous subjects.
The truth is that I am filthy rich.
Don't misunderstand, nothing has changed financially for us lately. We still drive old cars, live on one income, fret about taxes. None of that changes the reality that by the world's standards, I am disgustingly rich and unbelievably careless and irresponsible with my money. I knew that before we left. I've been referring to a consumer fast. Maybe I just needed to drive around the Apache nation a bit to really be hit hard with the fact that I. do. not. spend. responsibly.
And I spend.
Books, clothes, shoes, make up, house hold items - most things doubly damned because not only are they things I do not actually need, but I buy them from places that sell poor products for cheap labor, treating people as little better than slaves.
I allow slavery to remain alive and well in this world, and I pay money to do it.
I threw up in my mouth a little bit just typing that.
And so and so and so and so I can't just pretend I don't know the things I know any more. I don't feel guilty for the fact that I was born in an affluent country at an affluent time. I can't change that any more than I can change the color of my skin or eyes (I can and do change my hair color frequently.) Me in this time and place is completely God ordained. But with ordination comes obedience and a standard of living and giving, one that has somehow been shuffled out of sight in our modern day version of Christian obedience.
My money is not, in fact, mine to do with whatever I want, no matter how hard I may work for it.
I am, in fact, responsible for the care of those less fortunate than me.
What's more, it's not all about me (not even in the month leading up to my Birthday, the Day-of-all-Days!)
So in the days to come, I will be hammering out a plan for living, a plan that is off the consumer bandwagon. A plan that will require sacrifice and creativity. A plan that will make me more aware of who I am and who I am called to be. One year. No consumption.
Counting down to May 1.