He reminded me of why I loved leading Disciple studies, and why I love teaching in general.
He reminded me that I love ( love love love love love love love LOVE ) being there when someone sees God in a whole new way. I don't love it because I have anything to do with it (as if!). I just love to see it. I love to see the eyes widen and the face lift. I love to see that spark of "ooooooooooooh" I absolutely love seeing God start working a new path in people's lives. I don't get to experience this in the same way that Hunky does. He's very much a part of people's daily life-with-God discoveries. And me? I'm here at home taking care of the necessaries. Which is a wonderful place to be, except that it doesn't ever quite fit in the spot where that passion goes.
I love it.
I miss it.
I haven't found my real place in ministry here, yet. It's been a long time coming. God and I had some other serious matters to handle for at least a good eighteen months before I was able to even consider the possibility.
Now that that call has been reawakened I find myself restless and somewhat dissatisfied. Who knows what with: me? waiting? God's timing? the humidity? It doesn't really have a focus. It just makes my re-entry into "real life" a bit more difficult.
My purpose is less clear.
My passion is...well...absent at the present time.
And eventually Hunky is going to make me stop getting rid of things.
So you'll forgive me, I hope, if I speak of mountains and cacti for awhile longer. It isn't that I love one place more than another. Or that I wish to be elsewhere. It's simply that I found a piece of me there that I haven't found here yet. The bone burning piece, the one I can't fully live without.
I know it's here.